Think Now

 poetry by Anca Gray, 2012

Is there anyone out there who still reads blogs?  Or is the blog dead, having been given its last rights and testament by facebook?  Just curious.  

None-the-less, it feels like the time to write is once again here, in this moment at least.  When I was a child/teenager, I was quite certain that I would make my living as a writer.  A novelist to be exact.  Everything I thought about, I turned into a story.  Life was a romantic series of events with underlying cause and effect.  When I looked about the world, it was always infused with poetry and prose, love lost and regained, tragedy turning into triumph.  I read a lot of Danielle Steele back then! :)

Sitting here today, I am 41 years old.  Sometimes it is sobering (and by sobering, I mean I pause to laugh out loud and smile that age is actually happening to me!) to realize that I am no longer a young person just starting out.  I suspect I have now lived almost half of this lifetime.  This does not depress me, not in the least.  I love this age.  I love being a woman in my 40s.  And, I am now a woman with a past and a woman with a future.  Which matters more?  Whom I have been or who I am becoming? 

I would hate to think that I ever stopped thinking about things that are dangerous and noble.  Today, this poem, by Anca Gray, brought me back.  Light, frolicsome and improbable.  Is this a mantra to be taken in by the heart?  Think Danger. Think Noble. Think Light. Think Frolic. Think Improbable. Think Beauty. Think Fearless. 

And I have my own to add.  (Remember to) Think Now.  Because whatever I have been, wherever I am going, it is only this moment that gets me there.  And worrying about whether or not the past measured up or the right course is set for the future doesn't matter either.  It is just my ego that thinks I should worry about having been or becoming anything at all.   And when I let got of this 3D reality/illusion, I remind myself that it is a game, we are players, pawns, creators, gods, beings of light and dark.

Perhaps these are the qualities that drew me into writing 20+ years ago.   It is time to re-imagine.